So close
by awesomenerd95
Summary: His name is Red John and he loves playing games. When Patrick jane is tricked into thinking a certain someone's life is at risk how close will he get to danger, death,and Red John himself. How close is too close? Read and find out. Warning jane hurt.drama
1. Chapter 1

This is my very first Mentalist fan fiction so no flames please constructive criticism and feed back is helpful, I know it's short but if requested I will post a much longer chapter. So let me know continue, or run for the hills. Thank you all

Disclaimer: I own nothing. There for am making no profit off this, and worst of all, have not had the opportunity to meet the wonderfully talented Mr. Baker *sniff*

Read, Enjoy, Review

"Good morning my serious crimes family" Jane said strolling in with his classic Patrick Jane smile on his face, and a robin's egg blue tea cup in hand.

Cho merely grunted in recognition, Rigsby looked up and gave him a smile and nod. Grace had sat down to her computer; she had just come from talking to Jane in their small kitchen a minute ago.

Ah yes, the inner workings of the social chain in the CBI, what a fascinating animal. Patrick had already figured them out, and would have normally been bored by it by now, but found himself still enjoying observing his fellow co workers; they were even starting to grow on him even though he wouldn't admit it. He was about to finish enjoying his tea when he noticed something off about his favorite worn brown couch.

"Any of you touch the couch?" Jane asked his voice stern with interest.

"No man, besides it's just a couch Jane, no need to hog it, it's for everyone," Rigsby looked up at him in confusion.

"I could say the same thing about the fridge to you… are you sure none of you touched it?" The blond man tilted his head as he approached his make shift bed. The three of them continued to watch him with intrigue, one would think they would be tired of his antics by now but he still always had a way to get their attention.

"You see that, right there, the cushions ajar," He said pointing wildly at it as if it was as obvious as an elephant in the room.

"Really Jane, like Wayne said, it's just a couch," Van pelt added

"Calm down it's not about the couch…" He waved at the red head dismissively. Setting his tea cup down, he eagerly dropped to his knees and stuck his arm under the cushion feverishly, as if searching for gold, "It's what someone put in the couch…aha" The mentalist victoriously waved a small piece of manila paper in the air. Even Cho's attention was caught by his loud accomplishment. His large cocky smile slowly edged away from his face in return leaving a look of anger and disgust as his faded blue orbs scanned the parchment.

Patrick's eyes hungrily devoured the words several times again, before he looked up with a peculiar air, one of eagerness and a strange vengeful thirst. A look especially reserved for one man. The team knew it well, very rally did Jane let down his mask to show something of such emotion, but when you did see it, it stayed with you, branded in your mind.

"Lisbon!" The consultant called in a high pitch voice that similar to a child announcing a discovery.

All at once the same two words ran across the teams mind.

Red John.


	2. Chapter 2

I just wrote the first chapter about an hour before this one, I thought I would give you guys a little more before I expected to get comments, it's only fair . Sorry about the spelling and grammar my spell checks broken but for the most part it should be fine also its 2:14 in the morning haha. Thank you in advance for reading, and your comments would mean a lot to me.

Disclaimer: Don't own any of the characters or the show!

Read, Enjoy, Review

_Hello, Patrick _

_I hope you don't mind me calling you Patrick, I feel like we're on a first name bases now considering how _close_ I've come to you and your family. I know it's terribly rude of me to have gone without contacting you for so long, but you know how busy I've been, lessons don't just teach themselves. You would know that from personal experience, but there's no use dredging up the past now is there. I would much prefer focusing on the future, our future. That's right, much more fun to be had. I've grown terribly impatient with you, and your failure in finding me, you talked such a good game I thought you may actually have posed a challenge for me. That's my fault, one should never expect too much from a cowardly, worthless, little worm like yourself. I look forward to seeing you soon Patrick. _

_Until then, _

_Red John _

A short dark haired woman, better known as agent Teresa Lisbon, came stomping into the bull pen.

"What is it now Ja…" She stopped mid thought when she saw the look on her consultants face.

"He's back" Jane said with a cold detached smile, _and he's mine. _

"Find anything on the surveillance camera yet Van Pelt?" Lisbon asked.

"Not yet boss" Grace replied never taking her eyes from the glowing screen.

"It doesn't make sense, why now and why risk coming into the department?" A straight faced Cho asked, sitting on the edge of his desk, arms crossed.

"He wants to surprise us, let us know he's a step ahead of us, as for risking coming here, he didn't. Probably got one of his demented followers to come, plus he thrives on risk and showmanship."

The room grew silent for a long moment.

"Why don't we give him what he wants?" Jane's eyes light up as an idea boiled inside the enigma that is Patrick Jane.

He took their silence as a sign to continue, "We need a tethered goat"

"Here you go with this tethered goat crap again," Lisbon rolled her eyes annoyed.

"Who'd you have in mind," Rigsby asked out of curiosity.

"Baaah" Jane sounded loudly in his best goat impression.

"That's more of a sheep," Cho dead paned, and Jane couldn't help but smile slightly.

"No, you can't be serious," Lisbon asked, knowing all too well when it came to Red John, Jane was always serious.

"It says in the letter he wants me, so we give him what he wants."

"Do you have a death wish or something?" Lisbon asked her anger burning in her throat like acid bile.

"He won't kill me; he just wants to _play_ with me!" The consultant stood challenging her authority.

"You don't know that, you're being illogical" She stood now,her fierce attitude making up for the height difference.

"Illogical?" He questioned in angered disbelief, he let out a humorless chuckle before continuing, "Even if he does hurt me its one life for possibly hundreds, I'm not illogical, I just have the ability to do the math" The team stared on in intense silence, they could imagine their boss and co worker dueling it out in a boxing ring.

"It doesn't matter it's not your choice" The dark haired women asserted squaring herself up with her opponent.

He shook his head in anger and disbelief; through clenched teeth he hissed "Red John is mine. This case is mine. It's my choice."

"Not anymore it's not, I can't reason with you when you're like this, you're not thinking objectively, making you a liability to _my_ unit. You're off the case" She yelled pointing a finger at him before spinning around on her heels and storming out.

They all stood there awkwardly unable to more in the paralyzing silence that suffocated the bull pen.

After the initial shock wore off of Lisbon and Jane they were consumed with one thought.

_He can be such stubborn and stupid child! _

_She can be such a stubborn and stupid women! _

What neither would admit is the unease they both felt from the whole argument in the pit of their stomachs.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you so much to all of you who reviewed and added my story to Alert/favorites

Your wonderful comments made my day, and I hope you enjoy this chapter as well, I'm going to update as soon as possible probably no later than tomorrow. Thanks again and I hope you enjoy, like always helpful criticism and comments are appreciated, I just hope I'm getting the tone of Red John right in the letters, he's kind of hard to write for.

Read,Enjoy,Review

Jane was pacing back and forth in the CBI's small make shift kitchen. He hadn't slept all night, like usual sleep wasn't a friend of his. He wanted to be angry at Lisbon he wanted to be furious, how dare she, it was _his _case, but in the end he couldn't be mad at her. He could only be mad at himself, _she's just doing her job, it's my fault I can't control myself, it's my fault I can't catch him!_

Grace noticed Patrick's distress, "You ok?" she asked cautiously.

"Fine," He replied curtly his well practiced mask falling into place, as he gave her a smile that never reached his eyes.

She nodded, after a few minutes of silence she decided to continue to pry, "I heard you and the boss got into it again on the phone last night…"

**(Flash back of last night) **

"_What do you want," a very angry Lisbon answered. _

_Jane wasn't a man of few words he always had something to say, but when it came to the sensitive stuff it was harder. His heavy breathing filled the static on the other line. _

"_Look," Lisbon began rubbing her forehead "I am trying to eat my dinner, so unless there's a reason you called besides to annoy me, I'm hanging up," _

"_Wait…Lisbon…I…I __**need**__ to catch him." _

"_No you don't! Your just trying to create some purpose in your life again, when he killed your family he took that away.. " _

"_Now wait a second," Patrick interrupted _

_Despite the pleas of Patrick and her better judgment screaming at her to stop she continued, "all you have left is this crazy thirst for revenge, what do you think will happen when it's over? Huh? Either you will get killed or you be put in prison for the rest of your life for killing him. Then what will your life be? Nothing! You'll have pushed away anyone who's cared about you and Red John will have been successful in taking your life from you for a second time!" _

"_You're just trying to delay the inevitable; I will be the one to kill him this time, prison be dammed!" _

_She desperately switched tactics trying anything to get through the blonde man that had caused her so much trouble "This time? That's what you said last time, you can't catch him, you can't win. He will always win over you Jane because you let him! By trying your just proving him right!" Right as the words fell from her mouth she regretted it. How she wished she could just scoop them back up and throw them away. _

_Jane flinched at her words as if they were daggers; he was thankful she wasn't there so she wouldn't see his hurt and betrayal strewn across his tired face. For once in a long time Patrick was at a loss for words. He couldn't respond afraid his rough voice would reveal his emotions. _

"_Jane…I…I didn't mean it" Lisbon's voice a pleading whisper. _

"_Yes you did…" _

"_Jane?" She asked the sound of her voice startled her in the ire silence between them, but the only reply she received was a shrill beep from the other end of the machine. _

_-end flashback-_

"Jane…Jane?" The red head searched his deep blue eyes for a sign of awareness, she had never really examined them that closely, she found it chilling how lost you could get in those pools of icy blue, the shadows that haunted them, the terror those eyes had seen, she shivered at the thought.

"Jane!" She questioned a little more forcefully, and as if coming from a trance life entered his face and the walls and barriers strongly put in place, as he took in his surroundings.  
"Yes?"

"You…you ok?" She looked at him skeptically. _Damit Grace you of all people should know the value of privacy _he thought bitterly to himself_. _He had always seen the rookie agent as a secretive person, yet she always had to pry.

"Fine."

"Jane, this was left at Lisbon's desk for you," The usually stoic Kimble Cho had a small wrinkle of fear in his features as he approached the blond.

The consultant's eyes grew wide with realization as he took the letter from the agent's hands.

_Hello again Patrick _

_Like I have said before I am not a patient person. I figured if I raised the stakes I might encourage you to be a little more prompt with your visit, it's very rude to keep company waiting you know. I'm sure your little friend, agent Lisbon would appreciate it to, that is unless you like cleaning blood from the carpet. I'm sure by now your good at that._

_PS: I'd be very disappointed if you brought your police friends with you_

_Until then _

_Red John _

"Not again" He barely whispered but Cho and Van Pelt didn't have to hear him to know what he said.

-Some unknown location-

Lisbon slowly woke up as a gentle light filtered through her eyelids, she didn't remember much, only had a strong sense she wasn't in her house anymore. Her head was swimming, but besides that she felt little pain, _ok so I wasn't assaulted or jumped. _ She tested her arms they were bound with rope, _damn it. _ A soft hum of a television was now audible to her as her senses were stirred awake. She lazily lifted her heavy lids; they felt as they were made of sand. She took in her surroundings, she was in someone's house and by the way it was decorated it looked like someone's grandma's house. She was sitting on a hideously furnished couch covered in drab brown flowers. A small old school television set sat on the floor across from her.

"Good morning sleepy head," Her head shot around and for the first time she saw her attacker, and for the first time ever she was tempted to laugh besides the fact she was being held hostage. _You have got to be kidding me _she thought to herself.

He was a tall gangly man with thinning greasy black hair, there was no way he could have taken on the skilled and strong Miss Lisbon.

His large comical mile stretched across his sunken cheek bones. "Don't worry it should be wearing off now."

_Ok so he drugged me that would explain how he captured me but… _

"Don't you remember me" His round eyes danced with the excitement of that of a little child with candy. "Here's your pizza ma'am"He reenacted. It was all rushing to her now; she was drugged by her pizza delivery man. That was a first.

"Now there's no need to do anything stupid, if you let me go now the police will drop the charges" She said in her calm negotiating voice she had used for work many times.

"You think I'm gona hurt you? No my job is merely to take you to the show when he calls me."

"Who's he?"

"The greatest artist alive, he told me this was to be his greatest work, his piece de resistance. Isn't it exciting? You and I get to help, you're the bait of course and I'm your escort." This was some sort of sick game for him.

"What artist, what show, and bait for who?" Lisbon was getting more confused by the second.

"Jezz lady, you sure do ask a lot' questions" He eagerly walked across the room to a wooden mantel above his fireplace, it held nothing but a small shoebox.

"These are just some of my favorites," He paced back to the couch to show off his prized possession, gingerly he lifted the top to revel newspaper clippings. Lisbon could hear her heart pounding painfully in her chest as her eyes scanned the papers.

Above headlines read "Women brutally murdered" "Elusive serial killer on the rise" "Smiley drawn in blood."

"It has to be in here somewhere, ah here it is," He lifted the discolored paper to show the brunette. Her world began to spin as horror suffocated her, _anyone but him _She stared at the picture on the article whishing it could be anyone but him staring back

The kidnapper admired it, running his clumsy hands of the bold lettering "Family murdered"

"That's him," He said pointing at a black and white photograph of Patrick Jane "Red John is going to make a master piece out of him."


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you again for all the wonderful support! The next couple chapters are going to be pretty intense so please don't stop reading, and since I'm on summer break I should be able to update at least once a day like I have been.

Disclaimer: Fortunately for the fate of the show and the viewers I don't own the show or the characters.

.Review.

Patrick sat holding a calm collected façade, while inside he was an emotional mess, pain and guilt ate away at him, destroying him, like mighty wave crashing into the jetty slowly eroding it away. He couldn't stand the waiting, the not knowing, the possibility of Lisbon writhing in agony somewhere, whilst he merely sat there. He promised her he'd be there for her, promised he'd protect her. Then again he promised the same thing to his family.

He remembered tucking in his little girl every night, checking her closet and under her bed for no such thing as monsters he promised. How little did she know, what a sweet innocence she had, until the day she came in contact with a real monster, the worst kind the scum that lives amongst society crawling around unknown.

He wouldn't let it happen again, he _couldn't _let it happen.

"Jane, you don't look so good, maybe you should get some sleep man," Rigsby commented a Jane strode across the room.

"I know what he wants." The consultant stated plainly ignoring his co-worker's concern.

The three exchanged nervous glances, Jane wasn't known to be the most stable person during a Red John case, and now that it included someone they all cared about it defiantly complicated things.

"He wants me to meet him at my house, in the letter he refers to himself as Company, and mentions my experience with blood on the carpet, my room where my family was killed has carpet, hence my house." He looked around at them wildly, waiting for a response then as an afterthought added, "It can't be a sting operation, if you come in too he'll run."

"We can't just let you go in there unarmed, you could get killed," Cho stated matter of factly

"Of course you can!" His frustration was rising now like a summer heat in the desert.

"I don't know Jane it just sounds to convenient, the clues to easy, it could be a trap," Rigsby intervened.

"Could be, but it's my only way to Red John." The blonde man reasoned

"Look you can't just do whatever you want to satisfy your childish need for vengeance." Van Pelt interjected finally put up with the consultants tangents.

He leaned in close to her, his voice so cold it made her shiver. "I refuse to let another person I care about die because of me, I will save her even if it means my blood will spill, but if you don't let me do this before its to late than it will be revenge I'm seeking only it won't just be for my wife and child, but for Teresa as well."

"Fine. I'll arrange it with Hightower" Cho declared heading to her office.

Needless to say it was another sleepless night for Jane.

It hadn't been easy convincing Hightower to go along with the crazy plan, but then again she had gotten used to crazy and dangerous plans thanks to a certain consultant. Patrick stood fidgeting outside the CBI van.

"He's gonn'a know I'm bugged." Patrick looked less than his best; his curls even more unruly than usual his vest unbuttoned, his shirt wrinkled, the look was finished off with the deep blue bags under his eyes.

"It's our only option." Cho stated, thoroughly annoyed with his co-worker at this point. They were all tired and, all just wanted the whole thing to be over.

"Fine." He turned around fully prepared for the fact it may be the last time he sees his friends faces, or tried to convince himself he was prepared. He knew it was a trap, it was too easy, he suspected Red John had another location in mind he would take him to have his "fun". The team watched as he walked down the dirt path, more frightened than ever for their boss and co-worker. Although they insisted it was strictly a working relationship they had turned into a family of sorts.

He took a deep breath as he reached the door knob not knowing what to suspect inside. He could feel his chest tighten and the air catch in his lungs. If his heart pounded any faster he feared it would jump from his chest. He forced his legs to move, _keep it together, I'm here for Teresa. _His ice blue orbs darted from one side of the room to the other scanning for anything out of place as he slowly approached the stares; he hated the stairs, the hallway, the house. It all held to many memories, he had gone through the walk up to his old bedroom a hundred times in his nightmares. The thing waking up from nightmares is you get the comfort knowing their not real. Jane never got this comfort.

The hallway seemed to stretch on forever, his ears rang with the silence all he could hear was his heart thundering and his shallow breaths. He opened the door to be greeted by the familiar demonic smiley, when all of a sudden he felt a blow to the head. His body fell to the ground like a ton of bricks, sending a spike of pain through his body. Stars danced in his vision, and from the floor the last thing he saw was the face in red mocking him. Then darkness.

Dun Dun Daaa! So should I continue?


	5. Chapter 5

This chapter contains some violence so uv been warned. This chapter and the next will probably be the most intense considering they will describe Jane's capture by Red John but never fear there will be comfort after. I really hope you enjoy and tell me what you think and if you have any ideas on what you want to read next. Thank you for all you wonderful feed back each review make me smile

.Review

Jane groggily lolled his aching head side to side and opened his blue irises to his surroundings. He immediately wished he hadn't. It was a dimly lit warehouse, the air was cold and thick, each breath burned his tiered lungs. He then realized he was bound by rope and cellophane to a metal chair, he struggled futilely against his binds, only succeeding in rubbing his wrists and ankles raw. His ears became alert to a creaking sound in the distance behind him, his heart beat widely each breath quick and forced. The creaking grew closer and closer, he could hear the floor moan with each step the creature took, until there was nothing but silence and the feeling of hot breath on the nape of his neck. Anticipation clung in the stagnant air, the sound of his own heartbeat unbearably loud in his ears, he stared unblinking into the dark abyss that surrounded him feeling the sheen of sweat burn his eyes. The breath lingered on his neck, so hot, yet sent a chill crawling up his back each vertebrae at a time like a spider up its web.

"Hello Mr. Jane I've been expecting you."

**+CBI headquarters + **

"How the hell does someone just escape out the back without you knowing?" Hightower asked furious.

"We're trying to figure that out now boss." Cho stated mater of factly

"He took off the wire and tracer so we have no way of knowing his location at this point," Van Pelt said a little exasperated.

The three agents were tired, frustrated, and scared. First Lisbon, now Jane, their makeshift family was quickly falling apart.

**+Unknown Warehouse+ **

Anger ran red hot through his veins. Inches away. Only inches away was the man, no monster, that stole his world, that viscously bathed in the blood of his beautiful wife and daughter, the vile creature that had his Lisbon somewhere tortured or dead. All that separated him from the beast was a thin layer of cellophane. So close, and yet so far. His entire being ached with the thirst of revenge, and self hatred. How could he be so close and yet have no power over him, to be weak in the monsters hands?

"I've missed you Patrick," The voice was soft and ire. The blonde continued to glare at him his eyes portraying his disgust and hatred. This was wrong, in all the stories he read to his daughter the knight slayed the evil dragon and saved the damsel, nowhere did it say the dragon captures and slowly tortures the knight and kills the damsel. Maybe he wasn't a knight after all, maybe he was just a bad guy being taken down by another bad guy. He was no hero and this was certainly no fairytale.

"Silence. Interesting way to treat an old friend, perhaps I'll just have to make you talk," Jane could see the man's black eyes dance behind the disfigured mask. He raised the sharp blade to his bare throat the tip piercing the flesh just enough to have a thin line of red cascade down and be absorbed by the collar of his baby blue shirt. A large door screeched open at the end of the large room letting in a blinding light. In stepped an odd looking man accompanied by Lisbon. Jane's heart leapt when he saw the spunky agent unharmed; now all he had to do was keep her that way.

"I brought her boss," The gangly man declared excitedly.

"How nice of you to stop by Miss. Lisbon, but I'm afraid were done with you services now." The cloaked man strode toward the helpless brunette. Lisbon's vibrant green eyes pleading with Jane.

"Really?" Jane said trying to sound indifferent and keep his voice from trembling, "You're going to kill her, alright" Red John was intrigued by this response and turned to look at the man he held captive. Lisbon stared at him in shock and hurt.

"Yay I was just thinking you were better than that but hay what do I know."

"What did you have in mind?" The killer snared.

"Well I mean any old killer cuts the loose ends but imagine the headlines about you if she lives, Red john let's witness live and still gets away with murder. You'll go down in history as the gutsiness and smartest serial killer ever. This will be your prime, not only will you have finally gotten to the infamous weasel Patrick Jane but have a witness to the horrors of your genius." It was the hardest manipulation he'd ever done and also his best. He had just provoked a serial murder to kill him as well as complement him and his demonic obsession, he had reached an all time low, but he had to save Lisbon. "but I guess you're not as talented as I thought." _Please work, please work. _

Lisbon finally realized that he was manipulating Red John to save her at his own expense, and even if didn't see himself as a knight or a hero Lisbon did, and from that point on she'd never see him as anything else.

"I'll show you talent," He hissed as he walked over to Jane, each step fueled with anger and sadistic excitement. He slashed the knife across his chest bringing to life a line of dripping red, Jane suppressed s scream as agony held him in its crooked hands.

"Ok take her back and let the police find her…unharmed." Red Johns assistant grudgingly left pushing Lisbon along. She craned her neck back not wanting to leave him dreading the fact it may be the last time she see him. She wanted to run to him and tell him it was going to be ok. To tell him to get off his ass and back to work as she did every morning, to go into their annoying banter that she secretly loved. He seemed so close; they were so close and yet so far.

As Patrick watched Lisbon leave with a sense of relief for her safety yet fear of being alone with his captor, Red John leaned in and whispered in his ear "Let the games begin." Everything good in his life was so far and everything evil so close.

Ok next chapter will be the end of the Red John capture I'm sorry I'm not trying to milk the scene just thought this would be a good stopping point. Hope you're still interested and enjoying it :p


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry I didn't update yesterday I was traveling and busy. This chapter was difficult for me to get the tone of Red John and express the terror our poor Patrick goes through, this chapter contains violence and blood so you've been warned. I'm not used to writing something this dark so I hope you enjoy it. Thank you all for your wonderful feedback and I hope to hear more from you because I'm really nervous about this chapter.

Read. Enjoy. Review

The blade danced upon his bloodied flesh, with each strike white agony flashed in his eyes, temporarily blinding him. He had tried so hard at first to suppress the building screams from reaching his lips but as each agonizing minute passed his resolve was breaking. He let out a scream as the blade swept across his stomach.

"Ah what a beautiful symphony, I have to say Patrick I don't think you're wife sang quit as well as you when I gutted her like a fish."

"Don't. You. Dare." He warned from trembling lips. The monster came down forcefully with the back of his blade on his ribs. Jane could have sworn he heard a crack. Darkness threatened at the corners of his vision. Sweet darkness. How he longed for it to finally engulf him, and take him away.

Red John saw this and became furious, "If you die now before I'm finished with your punishment then I'm just going to have to finish this little charade with your precious CBI team." His lips dripped venom in his ear. Jane couldn't give up now he couldn't let his friends get hurt by this sadistic lunatic.

Soon he was covered in blood and lost track of which wound it was coming from, so close to death he could taste it, but Red John would make sure he wouldn't get close enough.

"Aghhhhhh" He let out another cry of pain, he struggled against his restrains only making the bleeding raw skin burn. His ears were ringing with sheer terror as the relentless blade came down again and again. He could taste blood on his lips as the room spun in a blur of red.

"Wow, you are looking beautiful, my best work, It's a collection really, I'll call it the Jane family's misery"

Jane's sore chest heaved against the cellophane trying in vain to breath in the chilling air. He could feel dried sweet and blood all over his body and the fresh wounds still oozing the warm substance. It was a strange horrible feeling, being bleed alive.

"Shut…up" He slurred out of breath.

"She was. So. Much. Fun." He licked his lips in sadistic pleasure

"I said shut up!" He cried out as pure rage pumped through his veins.

"What? You don't believe me, well I suppose I'll jut have to show you." The clocked figure rolled out a television set from behind a wall. If Jane had believed in any God he would have prayed that what would happen next was merely a sick nightmare. It wasn't.

**+Kidnappers Car+ **

_Think Teresa think _The agent screamed at herself as the warehouse became but a blurred spot in the distance.

"This must be a big moment for you, your first job with Red John." She knew she wasn't as good at trickery and mind games as Jane was but she was just going to have to try. The gangly accomplice straitened up a bit at the comment, "Your right it is," a smile adorned his sunken face.

"I could take a picture for you," She offered with false excitement.

"Dang it! I left my camera at home" He pouted with his wormy lips.

"Well, do you have a camera phone; I could take a picture with that." _Please be stupid enough to fall for this. _

"I don't know," He said incredulously corking his furry eyebrow.

"Oh come on don't tell me your willing to pass up an opportunity for a memento from your first job with your idol?" _Come on. _she was so close to getting the sucker she could taste it.

"Well…alright," He reluctantly handed her the small mobile device.

She flipped it open, slyly turning the volume off with the side button, so that they wouldn't be able to here the people from the other side, but the other side, her team, would be able to hear her.

"Just give me a moment to figure it out," She mumbled, as slowly as she could she dialed, making it look like she was pressing random buttons in an attempt to figure out the camera. _Yes it's ringing. _

"Let me do it" His winey voice made her skin crawl, like nails on a chalk board.

"Wait! I got it; just keep your hands on the wheel."

Now she'd have to clue in probably a very confused Rigsby.

"So uh my names Teresa Lisbon, you?"

"Sheldon," _well that would explain a lot _she snickered to herself. She just had to keep on the line long enough so they could trace the call.

**+Warehouse+ **

Red John now had the terrified consultant hanging low to the ground from a hook in the ceiling by his wrists. The small television screen flashed images of his little daughter riding a bike, then making sandcastles with her mother on the beach. Hot tears sprang from his eyes and soundlessly fell to the cold ground. Guilt and pain twisted and writhed inside of him. Good memories were bitter sweet, he had them in his dreams, but unlike his nightmares he would wake up knowing they could never come true.

Then the film ended changing to someone else's poor camera work, the camera entered a dark house, his house. It slowly scaled the stairs and stopped when it reached his wife's door.

Jane quickly adverted his eyes not wanting to see the horrific events that would transpire next.

"Watch it!" The cold voice of his captor demanded. Patrick shook his head weakly.

A loud whip lash echoed throughout the room as red John's torture device licked Jane's exposed back. He arched his back in pain his head jerking up towards the screen. Blood and screams filled his mind as he watched the modifying tape of what exactly happened that fateful night. He squeezed his eyes tight not wanting to see any more.

"Watch it!"

"No!"

"Watch it"

"n…no!" Jane screamed through tears and pain as he struggled for each tortuous breath. Then an explosion of pain fired throughout his leg, as the monster dug his knife into the soft flesh of his thigh and drug it down to the top of his knee.

"W…why…don't you j…just k…kill me? You know you w…want to." It was practically a plea. If there was any justice in the world it would take him away, to a place of no pain, no life, some place he couldn't hurt the people he cared about.

"Because life is a far worse hell for you than the one you'll burn in when you die, and soon the world will see you fallen, weak, and vulnerable. The pathetic little creature you are! I have painted in your blood and broken the foundation of your world." His sick excitement grew with every word as he announced it to the desolate room.

In one swift motion He cut him loose from the ceiling and Jane's bruised beaten body dropped to the hard unforgiving floor. Stars danced across his vision as he struggled with consciousness. The clocked figure picked him up, shoved him on to the metal chair and bound his wrists. He looked Jane in the eyes and reveled in his despair and defeat. He shoved the blade deep into his stomach and ripped it out. With two gloved fingers he wiped away some of the fresh blood and with it drew a red smiley face on the consultant's forehead.

"How does it feel to know that everything and everyone is gone and that you're all alone?" He laughed a loud sickening laugh, and like that was gone.

For the first time in a long time Jane was consumed by big racking sobs that made his chest heave, his eyes burn, and his throat sting. A deep suffocating depression consumed him. Very few people will ever truly feel the gravity of hopelessness. In that moment he learned what that was. A feeling where death is an escape and life is torture, the feeling of being dead but still being forced to survive amongst the living.

When the CBI finally arrived Jane was barely awake. Cho immediately called 911, Rigsby and Lisbon ran towards Jane's limp body.

"Oh my gosh" She said softly mortified by the sight in front of her.

"The…the TV turn…turn it off," He pleaded weakly. Rigsby ran to the small television set disturbed by the video tape that was set on a loop.

Lisbon shook him gently to keep him awake inadvertently getting his blood all over her.

"Shh Jane it's going to be alright, I'm here, I'm here." The agent cooed softly. His hearing was drifting in and out, and the last thing he heard was Cho on the phone telling someone to get there right away, and that someone was dying.

His slow brain pieced together the frantic call, and Lisbon sitting over him covered in blood. _She's hurt. She's dying. _The words ran through his brain on a circuit, repeating over and over like a car on a race track.

"Teresa…I'm…I'm so…sorry…I I never meant for you to…to get hurt." His tired bloodshot eyes burned with as much intensity as a dying man could muster.

"What? No. No, Patrick I'm not hurt. Stay awake! Stay awake!" She pleaded holding his frail figure in her arms; she was amazed at how someone so strong could seem so vulnerable and so weak.

All he heard was silence as her lips moved but no sound came out, like the world was on mute.

Gone. Everything was gone, and yet nothing was ever gone. His heart had died with his daughter and wife yet he could still feel it ache. His wife and child were cold beneath the earth yet when he lay his head down at night a sea of red and screams filled his nightmares. His psychic job was gone, yet the demons of his guilt danced on his walls at night. His friend, his Lisbon the last of his sunshine was extinguished, and yet he was forced to see her covered in blood with sad pleading eyes. Red John had left and yet he still caused him pain. His life was over yet he was forced to live. Everything was gone, yet nothing was ever gone. As if to answer his thoughts a thick darkness consumed his senses, and all was gone.

Don't worry Patrick is NOT dead, I didn't have the heart to kill him. Maybe you'll have the heart to give me a review though I hope the flames aren't too big *runs to corner*


	7. Chapter 7

I know I haven't updated for a while, truth is I was holding out in the hopes I would get more feedback, and I went on vacation so I am so sorry. Thank you for reading and reviewing, someone pointed out that I spelt something wrong and although I appreciate the correction I don't know if it was necessary to be so rude and call me stupid, but hay what do I know.

Read, Enjoy, Review

Disclaimer: I don't own anything!

Cho sat in the cold plastic hospital chair idly flipping pages in his book but not really reading, he couldn't focus, the image of his hurt co-worker flashed on every page he turned. While Cho was lost in deep thought the consultants mind began to stir. Thoughts of his own slowly began to surface, he felt like he was thinking through a cloud of cotton candy. The soft hum of the machines sounded miles away, and the light that filtered through his now cracked lids was dull and blurry, his lids felt heavy like sandbags. His head swam in a tide of confusion and disorientation. The blonde patient stiffly turned his head to see the blurry silhouette of Cho.

_Where am I _he tried to remember previous events but his mind was having difficulty piecing together full thoughts as it was, so he resorted to taking inventory of his surroundings.

_Cold, I'm cold, the rooms cold, smells bad, like…like…disinfectant, rough, what is that, a blanket, a rough blanket…so I'm in bed. In a hospital bed? _He struggled to think past the fog that plagued his brain, then like a tidal wave hitting the shore memory's flooded him.

_Lisbon, Teresa, hurt, hurt badly. _

Cho took notice of his stirring friend, and he couldn't help the relief and excitement that crept over his stoic demeanor at the sight of the consultant's consciousness.

"Hey there sleepy"

"Where's Teresa?" Patrick managed to squeak from his sore throat.

"She's not here," he said a little taken aback by the use of her first name. She had been by his side all night. Cho had to practically pry her from his side to go home and at least take a shower and get a spare pair of clothes. Rigsby and Van pelt were filling out hospital paper work and filling a report of what happened.

_Not here. Not here. _His mind struggled to put memory of the past events and fact of the current situation together. _She's…she's dead. _

The heart monitor illustrated his distress, as the chilling thought ran through his head; the chaos would only escalate from there.

"No," he whispered.

"Hey Jane are you alright?" Cho couldn't help but be a little alarmed at the pained expression on his face and the steadily increased beeping from the machines.

"She' gone…she's gone because of me…She's gone because of me" It started off as a weak whisper then poured out as a rough crackling scream from the consultant's trembling lips.

"What…no" Cho rose from his seat staring at the patient in confusion.

"She's gone!" his voice cracked as his throat protested the violent use after its long rest. He began thrashing against the bed in pain and horror, ripping the oxygen from his noise and the I.V from his arm.

"Stop it Jane, just calm down, you're going to hurt yourself." Cho demanded in a stern but gentle voice.

The light blue hospital blanket became spotted with crimson red as Patrick's thrashing ripped open the stitches of his wounds.

"She's gone, I failed again, he got her, and she's gone because of me" Patrick chocked out through the hot tears rushing from his electric blue orbs, teeming with raw pain.

Cho gave up on his futile attempt to calm him down and shouted for help down the hall.

"Jane stop, you're going to hurt yourself," Cho demanded.

"Let me die, let me please finally die" he pleaded with an unfaltering stare as he thrashed against the wires that held him hostage. The look was so honest so open it scared Cho a little as Patrick's brilliant blues screamed to him the man's pain and anguish that had filled the many crakes in the damaged man.

He was normally reserved afraid to be vulnerable or weak, but he didn't care now he had nothing else he could lose.

"I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry," The monitor continued to screech in warning as his heart rate continued to dangerously climb. Doctors came pouring into the small room; gloved hands whirled around the room in a practiced ballet, working to restrain the violent flailing of the consultant.

"Excuse me sir but I'm going to have to ask you to leave," one of the doctors began gently pushing the agent to the door.

"No, I can't just leave him…" Cho protested

"Sir he's going to be fine"

"You call that fine," Cho angrily gestured towards the chaos, "You have no idea what he's been through, I have every right to stay,' Cho flashed his badge assertively

"And I have every right to make you wait outside," Cho stumbled out of the room bumping in to a very confused senior agent.

"What the hell's going on" Lisbon demanded

"Jane thinks you're dead and is having a panic attack," Cho stated bluntly then turned towards the doctor more furious then Lisbon had ever seen him, "You have to let her see him!"

"I can't let anyone in right now," the doctor began unfazed by the agent's demands.

"Like hell you can't" Lisbon quickly pulled back Cho too stop the situation from escalating anymore.

"Please doctor, he needs me, he's my friend" She never thought she'd refer to her consultant as a friend a pain in the ass maybe but not a friend. She also never thought she'd say he needed her. Patrick Jane needed no one he was infallible, but as she looked at him in that hospital he was so small so vulnerable so hurt, so…human.

"Teresa, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Jane's shrill cry's were audible all the way down the hall, Lisbon felt her heart break for him, she cared more for him then she would ever let herself realize. Then his strained body went limp as the doctors administered a sedative. Blackness filled his vision and he was trapped in his own personal hell once more.

Lisbon pushed past the sea lab coats and scrubs to Patrick; she held his hand and brushed his curls that were now matted with sweet from his face. In that moment she was there for him but he wouldn't know. She prayed that despite his drug induced slumber he could take solace in the warmth of her hand on his. He would never know how close they truly were in that moment. So close, and he didn't even know.

What do you think? Let me now lots of comfort in the next chapter


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